i realise that this whole time i haven realli posted things that i realli wana sae... afraid of ppl's thoughts and stuff... but i think i will just post wat i wana sae and ignore what other people think of mi...

the other day i had dinner with sinyee, think its our first dinner together... as in onli the two of us... i got to know her since primary skool so i think u can sae tt we saw each other grow up.. but amazingly we got closer onli recently.. i was more open bout my thoughts towards her onli recently. she told mi she felt that i don realli have luck in my relationships and after much thought i agreed. hahaha....have neva realli thought of that b4 but yesh.. now i realise.. i never have good endings with the guy i like hahaha... like recently.. so i begin to think of a solution. maybe i shd not think bout all these things for the time being. haha.. take myself from all relationships and let myself think thru wat i realli want.

i appreciated the talk i had with sinyee the other dae coz it made mi realise the "wrong" thing bout mi...i never realli thought of my luck in relationships hahah.. there are some ppl who are treatin mi realli nicely now.. i dont wana list the names but i realli noe k... even though i do not sae, i noe u guys care.. did alot for mi.. accompany mi when i am down..

i want to tell u all some things coz i dun want u guys to be wasting ur time, money or efforts.. currently i have no desire to get into a relationship. i dunno if i have gotten over edwin, i don want to cheat u all. i need to sort out my thoughts. don stop just for mi coz i can tell u its not worth it.. i can still be frens if u all want to but if u guys are thinkin of anithing more than frenship maybe u all shd just move on. i realli dunno how to tell u all directly so i think this is the best way.

was reading the blog of ivan's fren just now.. i shd have some goals of my own too.. k lets see...
- stay chirpy and happy
- be smiling like an idiot the whole time (aim for the moon coz even if u fall u will fall amongst the stars hahah....)
- forget all the unhappy stuff
- be more magnaminous

my fren dared mi to put my criteria for guys in my blog... haha bad move coz i will put it in.. don care wat others think of mi hahaha....
- older than mi
- taller than mi
- someone who talks with a certain attitude (wat kind? i dunno, but this is the most impt criteria)
- i can feel chemistry
- cannot be a miser to mi (quite sensitive ah)
- someone i look up upon(impt too)

looks are not impt at all.......hahah its the truth...okie tts all! my bet! hahaha

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yesterdae was a bad day. something bad happened... actualli part of mi hope that the events of yesterdae were just a dream.. i hope that a miracle would happen todae so that yesterdae's happenings would be wipe off but i guess i ws thinkin too much.. the whole of todae, i was waiting and waiting and waiting... i skipped one of my lesson todae as i guess it wouldnt be fruitful anyway. sigh...all these..... stupid mi......

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i am in the eee ihub with meihua yali sinyee shumin and jaze... i cant believe it the ppl here are so quiet compared to the nbs ppl....serenity...hahaha... sigh we are still doin our 213 at this time of the dae... i am so so tired and hungry...as u can see i am eatin snake now as usual but i feel tt my eyes are popping out liao...haha...meihua is veri irritating she keep suanin mi...sae i type veri slow when doin powerpt... actualli tts a wae of eatin snake too juz tt she don noe... hahahahhaha... sigh i juz cant seem to concentrate animore after a super long dae... sigh reach home still gotta do powerpt for tax...i am so ke lian.... discussion discussion.. proj proj...

my fren juz called to sae tt his proj mate quarrelled during a meetin...he said the gers were having a heated argument...but no i think some gers can work quite well together, like the 6 of us...no conflict...so peaceful..sigh mi and my crappiness is realli gettin on my nervers...hahaha

k lah think can go home liao..endin here...tatz~

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my loyal fans told mi tt its gettin harder and harder to understand wat i was writing in my blog... well.. i shall try to simplify it then and make it easy to understand k...

for the past 2 days i got a few surprises.. i dunno whether i should classify them as pleasant surprises..

there is a surprise... j... he got mi a bracelet and it realli caught mi by surprise... i was actualli more shock when i learnt tt he broke off with his gf... i hope i am not the third party.. and as i have said to him i am juz a passerby in his life... he shd treasure wat he has instead of wonder about.. actualli i have the same thinkin tt jayce used to have.. i neva believe in love at first sight and i still hold on to tt believe.... so if there its possible i still hope tt he will go back to his gf... u cant like a person at first sight coz wat u see is not normalli the truth and i might juz not be the person for u... think bout it k....

well i deleted other surprises coz someone nearly killed mi... haha

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when a person discovers some cruel truth, he will try his best to do something which is deemed to be socially right to remedy what he has lost b4 unveiling the truth. he tries to make everything "right" again. but this "right" might bring about alot of hurt and unhappiness sometimes.

sometimes i choose to ignore the truth coz... wat good does it bring to mi to acknowledge the truth? well maybe it does in the long run but for now it is going to sting so i prefer to ignore and believe wat i believe.. perhaps many will say tt i am escapin from reality but hell... i am not! i am just giving myself time to let the truth sink in bit by bit i believe tt reduces the agony. One fine day when u stop thinkin bou the truth, u would have forgotten bout it and its a start of a new chapter. see, in this process there werent any time where u feel extreme pain and stupidity so this "truth" will not affect the way u think bout urself and others so its good in a sense.

and i believe in giving a person a second chance when there is a mistake made.......

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saturday i went to watch the movie "i do i do" with edwin. well the show was quite good and i was quite impressed. it din have the lameless which shows of stephan chow have. it actualli reflected the reality... situation in singapore. i mean the show wasnt 100% agreeable but it made sense. Women at 35 not married..gettin common.. it also showed tt women in love look exceptionally beautiful (transformation of sharon au after she fell in love with james).. haha... amusing but true... but the part where women wear low cut tops to work.. how true is tt?/ i dunno but i don think tts veri true.. u don wana risk geting criticized and eventualli outstracized by ur colleagues.

those are not realli that impt the impt thing is sharon au wanted to die for tt man!!!! i cant believe it... how can she ever think of ending her life for such a worhtless man.. well i guess it does happen when its ur first relationship, u are at the age of 35 and all ur $$ is gone... she look quite pathetic when she was doin her presentation... but for tt i can understand perfectly! when tears just cant stop flowing and u dunno why it is happenin.. i guess it helps if u keep looking upwards and stop drinkin too much water.. oh yes keep talkin too once u stop the tears just start flowing again.. i sound like an expert ah... tt was in the past.. haha..

i think the story was tellin us not to be unrealistic... u don have to aim for the best or for the one who causes u to have the "love at first sight" feelin...u have to choose the one tt treats u well coz he will be the one tt will bring u happiness and happiness will definitely bring about love.. haha.. but of course the guy muz realli like u in the first place...


so wat happens when there is no love between two person but juz a sense of familiarity? do two person stay together? i guess not... wats the point? initially it is the curiosity which keeps 2 person together or close but after tt curiosity disappears.. if there is no development for likin..bordom sets in... relationship will fall apart... relationship meanin frenship etc.. when one party realise the bordom, he/she shd take action and not insist animore.. let the relationship go...

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