I had another of my usual nightmare again...woke up with my heart poundin and my mind in a mess. I will never get use to these nightmares and I hope it will stop haunting me soon.. god please help me, let me get over this. Take away the memories, be it good or bad. I dont want to look back anymore. Whatever lessons there are to learn, I have learnt them well.

I will not hate and i will not avoid cause afterall he is someone who has shared happy times with mi. He can be regarded as someone who understands me quite well. Maybe if we havent started out in the first place we would have become close frens. I hope that he would not be just another passing cloud of my life. There must be more than just learning lessons when 2 person meet and experience so much together.

Just to make clear to many out there. I am sad not because I still harbour any hopes of getting together but because I sense that we would be outta each other life. Am afraid that 2 years down the road, there will just be vague memories of the existent of each other. I keep in contact with my ex bfs because i treasure what existed so i hope that this will be the same too. The future I saw is all gone now. Maybe there are still some memories but i am going to pack them up and store them in one little corner of my brain. I just need more time to further compress these memories.

Your bee-u-ti-ful name here :D